Escaped from Egypt, now they were free
Why did they act so ungratefully ?
Through the desert, now all at sea
These Israelites were mannerless
All those years under Pharaoh’s thumb
Slaving away till their hands were all numb
No time to sit and rest their bum
Shifting all them stones
From dusk till dawn, just constant toil
Cruel sun did make their bodies boil
At the whim of such a royal
Cos Pharaoh ruled the roost
Frogs and knats and other crap
God hurled right into Pharaoh’s lap
Sending him into a flap
The gentlest of persuasion !
But now with same sun on their back
They give poor Moses all the flack
They give him pelters – think he’s slack
Whatever life now has in store
It must be better, that’s for sure
Than never been let out the door
In that prison Egypt
They’re by the Red sea, on the beach
Safe from Pharaoh, out of reach
Band on the Run – that’ll teach….
….the man a great big lesson
But anyhow let’s move along
And catch up with this massive throng….
….of Israelites – do we hear a song ….
….perhaps of joy and praise ?
You’re joking – all we get are chants
♫ ‘Moses, Moses, you are pants ♫
♫ Moses, you are pants’ ♫
Because they have no faith
No faith in God that he’ll complete
The ‘great escape’ cos they look beat
They’re so tired – dead on their feet
What will happen next ?
At water’s edge each Israelite
For freedom, had an appetite
Across the waves, there was the light….
…. of their home at last
So Moses stood, official, true
Asking God, what next to do
Wandering if there was a loo
Anywhere on the shore
But there was mutiny in the ranks
For Moses and God there were no thanks
Just large resentment on the banks.…
….of the anxious Red Sea
Big Ben who was a huge great man
Got angry at the Moses plan
‘I’ve never was a massive fan
Of that toe-rag Pharaoh
But you have simply made things worse
Rather be back under Pharaoh’s curse
Seems I’m just waiting for a hearse
To take my bones away’
Another bloke got in his face
‘Oi’ he said, you ‘basket case
I’m hungry, need to go someplace….
…. to have some real posh grub
The bestest chip shop in the land
My uncle Percy runs – it’s grand
His reputation has always spanned
All across Israel
Percy’s pies are the best you’ve tried
His fishcakes are the nation’s pride
But I can’t go because we’re tied ….
….to where we all stand here’
A smile at last moved Moses cheeks
The first one they had seen for weeks
Eventually, his voice, it speaks
Continuing the fishy theme
‘I’ve just had a word with God
He’s given me a holy nod
To make sure that you get your cod….
….and chips, with mushy peas’
Make sure that when you order mine
Large chips and sausage will be fine
Like Kings real soon, we all will dine
But no vinegar please
– wind y’know’
But no, alas, his tones were drowned
People screaming all around
Frenzied at the sight and sound
Of commotion way behind
Fingers pointed at the hill
Camels, horses, men of evil
Shame it wasn’t Jack and Jill
Who came a- rolling down
Hateful ones in chariots, so dire
Led by King Pharaoh – his eyes on fire
Having lost his slave empire….….
….had revenge in mind
Man and beast with one sole aim
To control the slaves again
By spilling blood and causing pain
Who cares about the plagues ?
The Israelites weep in their tissues
The Egyptians will blow a violent fuse
They sure have anger management issues
Therapy needed there
Holy Moses on water’s edge
Prays to God ‘please keep your pledge
We are standing on the ledge….
….of death, so please help’
The Egyptians are getting very near
With sharpened point on every spear
With loud and poisoned tongues they cheer
So Lord, please do your stuff’
For God it was a piece of cake
A lovely parting He did make
The deadly sea did swiftly break
And behold, there was a path
The Israelites for just a second….
Were dumbstruck, as rescue beckoned
One thing they simply had not reckoned
Was their problem solved this way
Moses smiled and down he went….
….to dry sea bed, just as God meant….
….the enemy, to circumvent
The Israelites followed him
Like some Pied Piper, Moses struts
Urging all to shift their butts
Before it’s too late, and the sea shuts
‘Get your ass in gear’
Scurrying, hurrying, worrying inside
Fearing aqua -genocide
Fish staring on either side
The escapees were all in
However, unfortunately, the Egyptian boys
Followed the sea path, making their noise
Shouting more loudly, full of the joys….
….of revenge and disemboweling
Unfortunately that is, for them, because….
….before they could sink in their claws
The Israelites screamed their applause
As God closed up the water
As hugs and love at last were shown
Moses got out his mobile phone
Took some selfies, with Egyptians thrown….
….about the sea, in the background
Everyone waved and danced and sang
What a joyous happy gang
♬♬ Oh we’re going back to Israel through the sea
Oh we’re going back to Israel through the sea
Oh we’re going back to Israel
Going back to Israel ♬♬
We’re going back to Israel through the sea
Singing eye eye yippy yippy eye
Singing eye eye yippy yippy eye
Singing eye eye yippy, we’re off to Percy’s chippy
Eye eye yippy yippy eye ♬
(c) John M Sterry 2020