Foundations – Aspire

( SANDYMAN )

So what d’yer think of my new house

I built it on my own

Didn’t take too long, I was surprised

It is a right show home

Not much time and not much effort

To construct my precious pad

Didn’t cost much either – definitely the….

…best pad I ever had

You can see the quality in this place

It is an absolute corker

Saved so much I’m flying off….

….for two weeks in Majorca

I’ve called my new house Sandybanks

There’s a bit of it around

But I don’t care cos nothing will

Disturb my piece of land

( ROCKMAN )

Excuse me there, I overheard

You’ve got me worried, shaken, stirred

I thought you used the strangest word

D’you live upon a sandbank ?

I’ve seen all of the dangers there

Some act as if they just don’t care

Bad weather comes – they end up where….

….the sun don’t shine – d’yer geddit ?

Who d’yer think you are now George ?

Rabbitin’ on and on

I don’t know who or what you are….

….but keep your nose out son

Alright, no problem, all I’ll say….

….is I’ve lived here for many a day

And I’ve seen people float away….

….cos they got no foundation

Oh really, how riveting,

Look here Tom, sling your hook

Go off and do good somewhere else

Don’t treat me like a crook

I’m trying to help and being polite

And pointing out something’s not right

How can you really sleep at night

Upon your sandybank ?

After lots of contemplation

I knew I needed deep foundation

And proper drains for irrigation

And a solid substructure

Don’t give me all that rubbish Pete

What are you trying to say ?

Don’t come blinding me with science

Cos I’ll look the other way !

I don’t worry like you do mate

I know I’ve done enough

You think you’re smart – trying to impress….

….with all this technical stuff

My Sandybanks has got a view

Many would only dream

Trees and fields and animals….

….and fishes in the stream

I’m trying to pass on good advice

But you just seem to roll the dice

I’m trying hard to be so nice

And share some thoughts with you

I tell you, when I built my house

I simply used a little nous

I never acted like a louse

Cos I want to be safe

My home stands firm upon a rock

To withstand any wind or knock….

….or earthquake with a mighty shock….

….or angry storms that blow

Well okay Brian, so now we know….

….that you like spending money

Think your gaff is better than mine

I think you are so funny

Rock or sand, it just don’t matter

We hardly get much rain

So you stay in your ivory tower

And don’t be such a pain

So cobblers Clive, you’re out of pocket

With spending all that cash

Thank goodness I am different cos….

….tonight I’m on the lash

( SANDYMAN PAUSES AND LOOKS UP )

Have you seen the colour of the sky ?

I swear I felt a spot

Can’t be rain cos – my life it is !

But if it is, so what ?

I’m off to have a bevy now

I’ll just get my umbrella

My local is the Sailor’s Arms

Here is one thirsty fella

It’s coming down quite steady now

Doesn’t normally in these parts

Still, nothing tonight will stop me….

….having my usual game of darts

(Rockman begins to sing….’the wise man built his house upon the rock’)

Thunder, lightning, whatever next

I’ve also got the wind….

….a – roaring through my garden taking….

….the washing that I got pinned….

….upon my line, oh there they go

My undies and my shirts

Well mother nature’s hitting me….

….exactly where it hurts

What’s this, hang on, my feet are wet

It’s coming through the door

Oh no, I’ve got this load of sand….

….a – covering the floor

( SHOUTS )

Where’s me mate ? Oi Rocky Trev

I’m in a bit of trouble

This thunder storm has taken over

Can you get here on the double ?

Can you hear me please, oi !, what’s yer name

I feel ‘bit of a noodle

It’s raining cats and dogs in here

I just stepped in a poodle

You were a tiny bit correct

I needed something stronger

I ain’t got no foundations

I couldn’t have been much wronger

It’s your last chance, to help me now

Yer listening ?……………….

( SANDYMAN SHOUTS LOUDER, GETS LOWER, THEN DISAPPEARS )